$33 million in the Bank

Sammy has released a statement that he is staying with the Cubs.

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"I have said all along I wanted to remain a Cub forever... We had such an exciting year in 2003, for both myself and for Cub fans everywhere. I am already looking forward to next season. I know with Dusty Baker as the manager and the direction our team is headed, it will be another exciting year." - Sammy Sosa
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I can only think of one thing to say.

Shit.