Fiddling on the Roof

So much bandwidth wasted on the talk of the new Bears' coach and how he nods to Bear tradition. Hard Hitting! Tough D! Dick Butkus! Bronco Nagurski!

All crap. Here's what Lovie should have said when asked about Bear tradition:

"What I know of the Bears is that we are losers. We've won, what? 6 post season games since 1963? That sucks. That's not tradition, that's the Bengals. Oh, well maybe not them. They've been to a Superbowl since the Bears have. We can't win if we try. We had both Butkus and Sayers and never made the playoffs. It took Walter Payton, Dan Hampton, Richard Dent, Mike Singletary and Jim Covert to get us to win even one playoff game. Payton was the best running back in the history of the game. And he won 4 playoff games, all after he was 30! This team hasn't had a great quarterback since Jews in sports were athletes, not owners! Our tradition is for our fans to cling to one title, 1985, and cling to it like it was the Holy Grail. Well, 1963 to 1985 is almost the same gap as 1985 to 2007. And no one clings to 1963!

If the Bears had any real tradition worth honoring, I wouldn't have been hired. Singletary would have been the coach. I'm here because our tradition sucks. I'm gonna make a new tradition.

Wins."