Saturday, July 31, 2004

Outstanding


I'll let that one word sum up my thoughts. For all those of you crying over the loss of Justin Jones...

Shaddap! He's 19 and can't win you a pennant anytime soon. Brendan Harris? A loss, but Richard Lewis is essentially the same player. Francis Beltran? Until he learns to throw strike 3 before ball 4, I ain't losing any sleep.

Let's look to tomorrow and Greggie's attempt to get 300 (with Marigold Bowl closing a few months back, we're certain his best shot is at Wrigley). The key to tomorrow, and the rest of the season, is the lineup.

Where do you bat Nomar?

I've heard speculation anywhere between 1st and 7th.

This is a guy who hasn't struck out more than 63 times in a season since his rookie year. Where do you bat a contact hitter like this?

2nd.

And you boot Korey Patterson's worthless ass to 8th. Aside: Nice month, Korey. 32 strikeouts to 23 hits. 3 walks in 102 at bats.

This lineup can survive Corey when he bats eighth. Go with:

Walker
Garciaparra
Sosa
Ramirez
Alou
Lee
Barrett
Patterson

Now, that looks sweet. In a perfect world, I'd put Lee 3rd and slide Sosa to 5th and Alou to 6th, but Sammy's ego won't allow for that.

All eyes on the lineup card for tomorrow. Then Greg.

Taking it Back


I've been on Jim Hendry almost as much as I've been on Korey. He's never made a gutsy, go-for-broke move.

Until now.

Massive applause on this one, Jim. One wonders if he held back on killer moves because he was still grooming the farm system. Or, perhaps Jim was slowly piecing together a real lineup first. Or the pitching staff. Or he was just building a reputation that had him seen as a guy who won’t rape you. Kinda like folding a few hands early in poker to make everyone think you’re a sucker.

Whatever.

Excellent, sir. Balls out.

You are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up... 15 minutes. Then get your ass back in gear. The Cubs are under a lot of pressure to win, you know, and you put them there. Nothing's riding on this except the last 100 years of failure, your reputation, the Tribune Corporation share price, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you don’t find a closer, I'm going to get mad.

Goodnight.

(p.s. a free beer to anyone who can source that last paraphrased paragraph)

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