Drinking Games

For the Presidential Debate aka Joint Press Conference, here is a drinking game we all can enjoy, courtesy of the Chicago Tribune:

- Every time President Bush says the word "safer," take a drink. If he uses the word "democracy" in the same sentence, make it a double.

- For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.

- If Bush uses the phrase "compassionate conservative," you must chug your entire beverage.

- Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.

- Any previously recorded Bushism, like "misunderestimate" or "subliminable," used by the president during the debate requires one drink.

- If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.

- Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.

A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:

1) Florida
2) North Korea
3) Axis of evil
4) Saddam Hussein
5) The American people

- And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Vietnam," everybody has to take a drink.

Cub Version of the Drinking Game

With today the last probable game of importance for the Cubs, I thought I'd modify the above so that you can all be sloshed before the game ends.

- Every time Chip Caray says "rocket shot," take a drink. If he uses the word "hanger and a banger" in the same sentence, make it a double.

- For every Dusty Baker toothpick camera shot, have a drink.

- If Steve Stone mentions his 25 win season, you must chug your entire beverage.

- Take one drink for every ball Mark Prior throws after getting to two strikes on a hitter.

- Any time Ron Santo asks what base a player is on or asks how many outs there are, take one drink.

- Back-to-back jacks require a double shot.

A reference to any of the following requires one drink:

1) Visibility
2) Craig Biggio
3) "Yesterday's collapse"
4) 1984, 1989, 1998
5) Next year

- And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Steve Bartman," everybody has to take a drink.