Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Weapons of Mass Seduction

From Comedy Central:

It's common knowledge that the voting line during a Presidential election is a great place to meet potential dates. Maximize your chances of taking home the cute Democrat or Republican of your choice with these candidate-inspired pick-up lines!


"This is John Kerry, and I'm reporting for booty."
"I have a Plan for getting into your pants."
"I can do amazing things with a ketchup bottle, baby. "
"I'm looking for a way to steal your purple heart."
"That's a nice shirt. Can I tax you out of it?"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because under my health care plan, 75% of your hospital costs come directly from a special account set up in accordance with...."
"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Also, I really need your vote. Seriously, I'm down like six points there."
"How do you like your eggs cooked? Because I want to know what to have the maid make you for breakfast."
"Baby, the only thing swift about me was the boat!"


"I may not have found those weapons of mass destruction, but I know where everything else is. If you get my drift."
"Bush is my name and women's private areas are my game."
"Apparently, I own a timber company. Want some wood?"
"Did your daddy work for Halliburton? Because someone stole the stars from the skies, overcharged the goverment for them, and put them in your eyes."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. That way I'd never forget how to spell DUI."
"Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my megalomaniacal dreams of world domination all night."
"Presidents do it for four years in a row."
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me that I started a war for nothing?"
"Was your daddy a Supreme Court justice? Because you've illegitimately stolen my heart."

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