Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Not Exactly In The Clear

I did not have sexual relations... uh... knowingly take steroids.
Let's be very clear about steroids and baseball.

1) Up until this year, the use of steroids were not banned my Major League Baseball. Any player who took steroids or HGH prior to 2005 2002 did not violate Major League Rules.

2) Steroids are not illegal. They are not manufactured in underground labs beneath coca fields. They can be legally prescribed by a doctor. Possession or purchase of steroids is illegal without a prescription. This is the same as applies to all other prescription drugs.

3) Any player still taking steroids at this time is a complete moron.

Frankly, I don't care if players juice or not. I just want to be entertained. For perspective, the Wife just got one of those weekly celebrity gossip magazines. They did a profile on Jessica Simpson wondering if she had plastic surgery. Look at the following picture and let me ask you a question:
Yes.  I stole Brittney's career.

I really don't care if Palmeiro gets into the Hall of Fame. I don't care if he gets held out. I do know that these "athletes" are really professional entertainers. So long as the game's outcome isn't rigged like wrestling, why do I care what the players use to enhance the level of entertainment?

I certainly don't care if Jessica's been enhanced by bags of saline. In fact, if she has boosted her assets, let me just say, "Bravo!"

One last thing. Does any reporter have the guts to ask President Bush this?

"Mr. President. Two years ago, you used the State of the Union speech to demand the elimination of steroids from professional sports. Given that Jose Canseco and Raphael Palmeiro were teammates on the Texas Rangers while you owned the team and are now both known to be steroid users, was your speech an attempt to be in front of this story? Did you have any knowledge that players on your team were steroid users?"

Better, far more paranoid writers than I have the same questions.

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