Happy Holidays

Yes, there's a war on. On Christmas. It seems there are lots of Bill O'Reilly's out there who feel that everytime some store clerk says "Happy Holidays" after you drop $50 on the latest Furby incarnation, it is an attempt to remove Jesus from all of our lives.

Let's be very clear on something. Christmas is a great holiday. It's not my holiday, but it's a great holiday. I get to take the day off, go to a museum or the movies with the family, have some Chinese food and do all that with minimal crowds.

What's not to like?

But here's the funny thing about Christmas that makes store owners suggest to their clerks to use the term "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Let's look at the calendar for 2005:

November 24th - Thanksgiving
December 25th - Christmas
December 25th - Hanukkah
December 26th - Kwanzaa
January 1st - New Years Day

I count five holidays in that period where store clerks are saying the outrageous phrase. Is it possible that, just perhaps, store clerks are being told by their profit driven employers to not alienate any of their customer base?

Perhaps in Westminster, VA, where there's only one synagogue, retailers might have little conflict in saying "Merry Christmas." I mean, how many of their customers could possibly not be celebrating that holiday?

But in, say, Manhattan, what's the percentage that don't celebrate Christmas? 40%? 50%? Higher?

It's the height of arrogance to suggest that a private business must say some specific, seasonal phrase that might offend a portion of their client base because of some cajoling by a few Scrooges who are themselves offended.

Since when does anyone have a right not to be offended?

What's next? I know. Let's eliminate Santa because it takes away from recognizing the birth of Jesus and places an inordinate amount of attention on the materialism of gifts. It makes sense with what some are whinning about.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled "dead horse beating" of Miguel Tejada.

Seasons Greetings.