Are Viagra Endorsements Next?

We're less than 24 hours away from the opening of spring training camps and we already have a trumped up controversy to discuss:

"Whatever happens, I don't want to know [anything] about a contract during the season. I want to sign with the Cubs before the season starts. If they don't sign me, sorry, but I must go. That's what Carlos Zambrano thinks." - Carlos Zambrano

Everyone has a nice winter. The Cubs add some decent players. The weather in Chicago is brutal and spring training is here to get everyone thinking spring. All is well. Until Carlos opens his yapper.

Let’s break this down a few ways and see what’s really going on here.

First, Carlos deserves the money. There was a time, not long ago, when Zambrano was THE BEST pitcher in the NL. His durability is unquestioned except by those that serve in the Roman Senate. He's on the minus (read: good) side of 30 years old. Big Z has earned his payday and he's worth the risk in dollars and years.

That said, Carlos is not yet a free agent. He's still only in his fifth year of service time. He should NOT get this year's contract torn up and get a huge boost this year to Zitospheric status.

Second, one of the reasons Zambrano is antsy is the Cubs own fault. They’ve spent money like there's no tomorrow (which there isn't for this ownership). Zambrano rightfully fears that the team will be sold, purse strings will tighten, and Mark Prior's genetic looseness will prove to be an airborne viral infection. Zambrano wants his moolah now while it's there.

And the Cubs have the money. They spread $300 million over 7 years. Don't suggest that they can't spread another $88 million over 6 years ($8mm for 2007 plus $16mm for 2008 through 2012). While this is not even close to a Maddux redux as some would have us believe, there’s no reason not to find a way to give Carlos his money now.

But Zambrano is ultimately to blame for his needless escalation. And that brings us to point, the third:

Zambrano said that if he doesn’t get a new contract by the start of spring training, he, "must go."

Carlos, we understand that you don’t want to negotiate during the season. But do you honestly expect us to believe that, if on the day after the World Series ends the Cubs offered you $150 million for 7 years that you’d say ,"No!"?

Don't negotiate in the media with mule muffins. Don't set insane standards like, "sign me now or I'm not coming back!" Want it over now? Fine. Even agreed. But don't crap us by saying "I must go." It's simply not true.

And don't sound like Bob Dole when you say that stuff, either.