The Kübler-Ross model describes, in five discrete stages, the process by which people deal with grief and tragedy. The stages are:

1. Denial:
2. Anger:
3. Bargaining:
4. Depression:
5. Acceptance:

For Cub fans, we can re-write these terms in a way much more understandable to the masses:

1. "Jim Edmonds can't be coming here."
2. "Why does he have to sign with the Cubs? It's not fair."
3. "Just let Felix Pie have another week to 10 days."
4. "He and his worse-than-Pie OPS are going to be awful, awful. I can't watch"
5. "Maybe we'll catch lightning in a bottle. It's going to be OK."

The real problem here is that Jim Hendry never goes through stages 1 to 4 or he'd realize how stupid of a move this is. Jim only lives in Stage 5. From Jon Lieber to Wade Miller to Ryan Dempster to Shawn Estes (ok, bad example today) to Neal Cotts to infinity, Hendry always spends time on guys who might get hot.

I wonder how this team would have performed if Hendry had taken all that money blown on a dozen reclamation projects and spent it on one good player? He'd probably have put together a 90-win season by now.

Edmonds is through. His splits are worse than Pie's and he's no longer as good of a defensive outfielder as Felix is right now.

If they insist on signing Edmonds, send EDMONDS to Iowa for a week to see if he can regain his swing, not Pie. If Jim can hit .300 down there for 7 games, bring him up. But don't let him replace a better player on the roster. That's dumb any way you slice it.