The Cubs magic number for a playoff spot is 8. Did anyone realize that the team the Cubs need to eliminate is no longer St. Louis or Philadelphia?

It's Houston. Yes, Houston, with 67 losses, is now tied with Philadelphia for second place in the wild card race. And that means, despite having the next two days off, the playoff magic number cannot go down. The divisional number could be as low as 9 by the time the Cubs play again, but the playoff number will be stationary.
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As the Cubs offense continues to flounder, the biggest wet fish in the lineup continues to be Derrek Lee. A third place hitter who goes 0-5 with one RBI but 6 left on base is not something a playoff team with hopes of a long run can afford. Maybe the two days off will do Derrek some good. Maybe once this team clinches a playoff spot, Lou will use the opportunity of meaningless games to revise the batting order. Hell, if you can bench Kosuke Fukudome, you can move Derrek Lee in the batter order.

How would this lineup work?

Ryan Theriot
Derrek Lee (he's still walking - OBP of .390 since August 1 but slugging .371 over the same period)
Aramis Ramirez
Alfonso Soriano
Geovany Soto
Mark DeRosa

Fill out 7tha nd 8th with some combination of Fukudome, Reed Johnson, Jim Edmonds, Felix Pie and Mike Fontenot depending on where DeRosa is playing.

And, just maybe Soriano would realize that hitting fourth would be better for his team and that there's really no difference in how pitchers are going to pitch him. Especially now that Soriano is willing to work the count (how refreshing!).
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The Cubs still need two wins to exceed their highest regular season win total since Andy MacPhail was hired. Yes, they were that bad for that long.
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John McCain, obviously afraid of the questions he would be asked about his recent campaign lies, is no longer going to have press conferences.

Have they renamed his bus and plane the "No Talk Express"?

I used to love this guy. As recently as February. I wanted him as president in 2000. What the hell has happened to him?
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Goat Rider Leader Kurt Evans is profiled by ESPN as a Cub fan representative of fans from the 1980's. Given that he was born in 1979, shouldn't he be disqualified on that basis?