Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Rockin' on Waveland

Wrigley Field may be rented out to host concerts. Very cool. I wish I still lived in the neighborhood to partake. Why should Comiskey be the only place to have hosted the Beatlesand Simon & Garfunkel? Wrigley works just as well, save the parking.

I just don't want to see the Cubs lose games on a bad hop because the turf has been trampled post-Metallica concert.

Monday, November 29, 2004

The wife and I checked out The Incredibles last week. I’d rank it Pixar’s fifth best movie. Only Bug’s Life was "worse." Now, I use the word "worse" in a relative sense. A Pixar movie is usually better than 90% of the crap that’s in theaters in any given YEAR. And that holds true for this movie, too. It gets off to a good start and closes solidly. But the middle tails off a lot with a very slow second act in which nothing really happens to advance the plot. But the movie ends on a high note. Baby Incredible has the best moment, Dash channels the Jedi Speeder Bike Chase, and you have to be very fast to catch John "Cliff Clavin" Ratzenberger's obligatory Pixar cameo.

What’s really interesting to me is the commentary that this movie has created. Pundits and bloggers are chiming in that it’s a very "pro-conservative agenda" movie. Bunk. Sure, it has it some very obvious conservative points. Superheroes are all forced to retire because they cause municipal damage and human collateral damage. This results in superheroes being sued left and right. Nice launch at the trial lawyers, right? Yup.

But then Mr. Incredible goes to work (after being superhero protected/relocated) as an insurance adjuster. He then helps people maximize their claims by telling claimants where the loopholes are in the insurance company. An insurance company executive then lambastes Mr. Incredible for paying out too much money in claims. Mr. Incredible should stop trying to help people at the expense of corporate profits. Insurance company profits, mind you. Yeah, that’s a conservative message. And the insurance industry is aligned with the right just like trial lawyers are aligned with the left.

There's also the overriding theme that the Incredibles, as a family, must hide their superhero-lifestyle from the rest of the world because they are different from everyone else. They must conform to what society deems as normal. If that doesn't sound like the issues surrounding homosexuality in this country today, I don't know what does. To be clear, this movie would be taking the "left" side of the gay issue.

But forget all that. Here’s a novel idea: Brad Bird, the director, wasn’t making a liberal or a conservative movie. He was just choosing good targets to satirize. Bird cut his teeth working on the Simpsons. That show makes fun of everyone, right, left, up and down. Why can’t people just see the same in The Incredibles? Why does everything in this country have to be Blue or Red? How about this: It's a good movie that pokes fun where fun can be poked.

Oh, and go see it. Worth the $8.

Ranking Pixar Films:
1) Finding Nemo
2) Toy Story
3) Toy Story 2
4) Monsters Inc.
5) The Incredibles
6) A Bug's Life


With no Bears game on Sunday and the signing Jeff George (aside: were I an owner of a Soldier Field PSL, I’d be livid. The Bears are trying to placate me with this dreck?), the Trib has to find something to print. So, they do a backpage on the state of the two Chicago base teams’ offseasons.

The message from both teams appears to be: we have tons of holes and we have some cash to spend, but we are waiting for the 63rd anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor before we do anything.

December 7th is the date after which teams can sign free agents from other teams and not lose draft choices as a result. That effectively lowers the cost of the free agents. The Trib is suggesting that singings could commence after that date. What’s more obvious is that neither team likes the way the market is shaping up. The singings of Omar Vizqeul, Damian Miller, Cory Lidle and Cristian Guzman to contracts that fit more with 2000 budgets than the more austere 2003 budgets seems to be making GM’s a little gun shy.

It’s pretty simple as far as I can tell. If you want the Cubs to retain Nomar, Todd Walker or Matt Clement, the best chance to do so is to sign them prior to December 7th. After that, the cost for a competitor to sign them goes down. The next 10 days will be worth watching.

Moreso than Jeff George and the Bears, anyway.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Picking Up

The New York Post picked up on the Jon Stewart for CBS anchorman angle. Too bad CBS has no stones to make such a move.

A belated Happy Turkey to everyone!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

New Face at Black Rock

Dan Rather is finally calling it quits. I'd have an opinion on Dan's work and his exit if I ever watched the man. Rumors are swirling on whom to replace him. CBS needs to rebuild trust, fine some person who appeals to the younger viewers, and has a sharp mind for current events.

That means only one person.

Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show is brilliant, largely because Jon is. But he's also trusted. Check out this story in the New York Daily News. Jon will be the most trusted source for political news in the country among twenty year olds once Tom Brokaw retires (next month I think).

CBS could do much worse than Stewart. And not much better. He'd draw ratings. He'd be counter-programming to NBC and ABC. And the show would be brilliant. Yeah, the humor would go down a notch, but his ability to highlight hypocrisy in the news would gain a measure of attention that is sorely needed.

Post No Bills

The Cubs will unveil permanent advertising signage behind home plate next year. While this is unfortunate, it's not unexpected nor a cause for dismay. Almost every other team has some sort of rotating sign behind home plate. Almost every other team also has a jumbotron that shows commercials non-stop, twice the number of skyboxes, club seats, and other "revenue enhancers" to increase a team's top and bottom lines.

I've got no problem with this so long as those in charge of the sign only rotate the sign between batters.

And if it helps sign Carlos Beltran and a short stop....

Monday, November 22, 2004

Sure Thing

Some people has asked recently, "What's the big deal about Nicollette Sheridan? She's not that pretty." Well, she was. Rob Reiner's movie of 19 years ago proved that. Yeah, we only got glimpses of her, but that white bikini was memorable to this then high school senior.

She may not be tasty so much anymore, but she sure was then.

Read Between The Lines

Jayson Stark has some Rumblings about Korey Patterson today:

One center fielder who won't hit the market, even if the Cubs sign Carlos Beltran, is Corey Patterson. The Cubs would only be able to sign Beltran if they move Sammy Sosa. But even if they do both, they have no plans to shop Patterson, according to teams that have asked about him.

"Too much invested in him, in more way than one," said one NL front-office man, of Patterson.

What does, "in more way than one," mean? Politically? Covering for him? I, seriously, don't know what to make of this. Anyone have any ideas?

Leading Off With A Ha' Motzee

Nice profile of a Cubs' farmhand. The Cubs' must be feeling guilty about lowering their Kosher Quotient with the exit of Steve Stone. Either that or they are trying to drum up rentals of biographical movies not named "This Old Cub."


...So Kent Mercker didn’t scream at Steve Stone on an airplane. He didn’t call the press box to ask for Steve Stone. He only had Sharon Pannozzo call as question Chip Carey’s call of the game. Also, Kent didn’t “scream” at Stone in an elevator, he merely made an offhand remark.

Yeah, exactly what a guy without a contract trying to keep playing for a laissez-faire manager would say when trying to rebuild his image with the public. I don’t buy this crap for a minute.

...Good move by David Stern to send Ron Artest to the music production studio for the rest of the year, but it won’t solve the problem. I fear that, coming soon to every stadium in every sport near you, will be hockey-style Plexiglas to protect the fans from the players. This weekend’s events is just another step down that path (Chad Kreuter, Bill Ligue and Son, John Murray and the Randy Myers Incident). The incident began when some imbecile threw a cub at Artest. That fan needs some jail time. That’s assault.

Until all fans realize that they are spectators, only, we will see more and more of these events. The solution will be people either realizing that they are viewing entertainment or further separations between the fans and the athletes. Check this story out for some history. And note that the story if 2 years old.

...Seeing Peyton Manning at Soldier Field just reminds me again and again how stupid MLB’s interleague play setup is. The NFL, and NBA for that matter, allows its fans in every city to see their team play each other team at some point. It’s a crime that Cub fans have never seen Alex Rodriguez in Wrigley, but John Elway, Dan Fouts, Terry Bradshaw, Dan Marino all played the Bears in Soldier Field at one time or another. This needs fixing.

...I have no opinion on Len Kasper. I can’t recall ever hearing his work. Let’s give him 30 games to form an impression. We’ll talk about him more around May 1.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Not Rosey, But Capital!

It seems my Iowa Hawkeyes are Big Ten Champs once again. Now, let's win a big bowl game. The Holiday Bowl doesn't count. Does the Capital One Bowl? More pictures are available from Hawk Central's Press-Citizen page.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Slow Friday

Plenty of actual work to do today. A Chicago area business is being lent a nice, tidy sum of cash today, courtesy my employer. This could result in creating access for me to productions of NFL, MLB and NBA games. More on that in future posts, no doubt.

Buster Olney chimes in with a column today on how the Mets would be making a mistake my trading for Sosa. He's right. Why couldn't he wait to publish this until AFTER the deal is completed?

As some talkbackers have noted, the White Sox are rumored to be interested in Kyle Farnsworth. Who would the Cubs want back for Farnsy? My only thought is Carlos Lee. The Cubs can afford him, they have an opening for his position, and the White Sox will move either Lee or Paul Konerko this winter. I could live with C Lee in left. I still need Beltran or Pierre in center. And if Patterson can't play right, then he needs to be traded.

Oh, hell. Patterson needs to be traded, regardless. But you frequent readers knew that.

Nice Seasons

My alma mater, Glenbrook North, finished its best season of football in 30 years last week. They lost 28-14 in the Illinois 7A quarterfinals to undefeated Libertyville. Nice run, guys.

And Captain Kirk Ferentz gets a nice love letter in today's Tribune. My Iowa Hawkeyes started rough, but have won six straight. I've got lunch bet on the Wisconsin game. Here's hoping that the check is paid for by UBS.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Video Du Jour

Yeah, all the hits this site has racked up for people looking for Nicolette Sheridan and Terrell Owens are now rewarded.

Monday Night Football's intro courtesy iFilm.com.

Oh. And those of you complaining? Shaddap you whinny, holier-than-thou goofballs! Stop interfering with humor!

Danger in Blogging

Look what happened to Bloggress Queen of Sky. I wonder what would happen to me if I posted pictures of myself rolling around in the bank's cash vault? Beyond inducing gag reflexes the world over, that is.

Bad Publicity is Bad

I saw in Barry Rozner's column this morning that Jerry Reinsdorf was scheduled to make a radio appearance with WSCR's ex-hot dog vendor this morning. The interview was scheduled between 8 AM and 8:30 AM. Good thing I read the column at 8:45 in the morning. Now that's great publicity there, Hot Dog Boy! No wonder you were getting your ass kicked by McNeilJurko&Harry. Not only is your act tired, but it's poorly promoted!

Note: Please ignore the fact that drive time for me is now ESPN's Mike & Mike and I'd never listen to WSCR's morning show, regardless of the guest.

Job Still Open

ESPN 1000's Tom Shaer reported this morning that Dave O'Brien will not be released from his ESPN contract and will be unable to accept the Cubs play-by-play job. This seems to explain the articles yesterday quoting Dave as saying he'd love the Cubs job. That was an attempt by Trib Corp. to pull the emotional strings at ESPN to help get Dave released.

Looks like that won't happen. Stay tuned for more details, and I'm sure Desipioandy (in his non-CubsTalk persona) will have inside scoopage.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Other Side

A request was made to show the other side of the story of Yassir Arafat. No problem. We saw how Yassir died. Now let's look at how his victims died.

Like Arafat, these people died being waited on. Unlike Arafat, who died sick in a hospital, these people died healthy while eating Passover dinner in a hotel.

The other side, asked for and delivered.

P.S. They ain't driving me away, Sloth.

Reviewing the Press

How CubsTalk.com got listed as part of the news feeds on Yahoo! is beyond me. Now, there are many wannabe sportswriters on the internet. The reason most of them don't have paying gigs is that their writing is... um... how can I put this? Bad.

I had the unfortunate experience this morning of clicking on this headline:

Brenly Won't Be Voice of Cub Fans

One James Renwick of CubsTalk penned a diatribe that says Brenly is bad, and bad all over (being familiar with that adjective gives one proper perspective). Breaking down a few of James' "points":

"(I)n 2000, even as he was broadcasting the games, Brenly openly campaigned in the press to replace Buck Showalter after the Diamondbacks fired their only manager in team history at the time.
Politics are a dirty business, and Brenly has made it to the booth with dirt smeared all over his face."

So Bob campaigned for an open job? How... uh... APPROPRIATE! Dirty politics is trying to get a job that's open!?!?!? In my world we call that INTERVIEWING. James does note that Bob was eventually hired and won a little thing called a World Series Title.

James continues, bashing, predictively, mind you, Brenly's style.

"Don't expect to hear Brenly criticizing a Baker decision (after all, Baker gave him his first big league coaching gig). Don't expect to hear Brenly talking about disappointment (in a typical broadcast in Arizona, Brenly's favorite term was "Bad Luck"); in fact, don't expect him to say much of anything that you didn't already know."

Now, I loved Steve Stone. But Steve had gotten quite repetitive at the end of his run, the innumerous visibility checks being the most obvious example. Will he bash Baker? Funny. He just might. After all, some have predicted that Brenly may be a manager in waiting. Oh wait, that won't happen. James tells us that Brenly only campaigns for jobs AFTER the job is available.

"What we want, and what we need, is that voice of reason; that voice that lets us know that we are under-performing; that we are not playing good baseball; that we are sometimes flat out bad, in fact. We want that, if for no other reason, than to curse and scream at the TV our disagreement.

Bob Brenly is not that voice."

Well, if James knew anything about Brenly's previous work in Chicago, he'd know the exact opposite was true about his broadcasts the last time he worked here.

James rambles on to create a pithy little Bob Brenly drinking game. It's not even worth commenting about.

What's obvious is that James is pissed that Steve got canned. I was to. The solution? Bash the new guy preemptively.

Here's an idea. Take a stiff drink before you read CubsTalk.com. And read the rest of the Cubs Blog Army. Their thoughts are more cogent and more amusing. Even without the Yahoo! connection.

Sunday, November 14, 2004


So Yassir Arafat decided that dying naturally was the right way to go. I guess strapping a vest of explosives and ball bearings to his chest and blowing himself to pieces during happy hour in a Tel Aviv bar was only good enough for 17 year olds. Perhaps Yassir didn't want the 72 virgins that come with martyrdom. Theories abound.

Regardless, he's dead. It's always a good thing when a mass murdering terrorist's body reaches a temperature equal to that of the room (irony - that's the definition of a cold blooded animal) no matter what the cause. It still sickens me that the US Government chose to send a representative to this man's funeral. I'm sure we won't be doing that when Bin Laden croaks.

Allow me to do readers a service. Just in case you never choose to visit his grave, he was burried in his Ramallah compound here:

The compound was built to be the headquarters of his "government," the Palestinian Authority. It was a beautiful compound when it was built. It was a symbol of the future that the Palestinians had as a sovereign people. After Arafat declared war on Israel a few years back when Ariel Sharon went for a walk in the holiest site to Jews in the world, Israel baracaded Arafat in his compound and systematcially destroyed it.

Here's how it looks today:

A fitting place for the grave of the man who destroyed the hopes of people who believed.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Buried Story

Hidden in today's Sun Times was this little article. I think they buried the real lede.

The gist of the story is that Kyle Farnsworth didn't dress for the last game of the season. My bet is that he wore his pajamas to work so that he could more easily take a nap. But, no where does it say he left early like Sammy So-long. And no where does it say that Farnsworth wasn't disciplined.

In short, who cares?

The meat was the quotes at the bottom from Kerry Wood via WSCR:

"It became hard for people to root for us,'' Wood said. ''Obviously, last year we made ourselves look pretty bad, and that's something we need to address."

Halleluyah! Kerry understands that this team was loathsome. I hope that he understands that he was a big part of it, being he was the first whiner in the infamous tantrum game against the Reds in mid-April.

The Cubs need to correct their attitude. At least one of the players understands that.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Computer Ate My Homework

Phil Rogers has a nice column summing up the free agents in the infield across the major leagues. He covers first, second, third and catcher.

Something's missing, though. Maybe Phil was watching some 16 inch softball and thinks Nomar, Edgar and Orlando play short-center?

tHom A Commin'?

What's the take on Barry Rozner's article today? At first, I thought this story was seeded by Thom Brennaman himself. I cooled on this possibility when I realized saw that Thom was not quoted in the article. That would have been a sure tip off.

Perhaps Andy McPhail is reaching out to extend an olive branch to Thom via an underling contacting Roz. McPhail is mentioned in the article, but not quoted. Another last angle is that maybe Bob Brenly is insisting on bringing Thom in. One of the things I read about Brenly's hire is that Brenly will get input into the selection of the lead broadcaster.

Or, maybe Barry's just trolling. I dunno. Something's not adding up.

Best Headline of the Day

From the Associated Press:
Dolphins Sorry Wannstedt Stepping Down

Yeah, Wanny was a sorry coach. Back in the day I was a huge Bear fan. I probably had a greater interest in the Bears than I did the Cubs. You knew that the Cubs weren't trying to do anything other than give the fans a sniff of success (so intimated once by Jim Dowdle).

The Bears, despite the Hand of Mike McCaskey, could be successful. There was a salary cap. There was a draft. The team had a good coach in Mike Ditka. The Team had a good GM in Jerry Vainisi.

Then, McCaskey fired Vainisi and took control of football operations. Then, Ditka was fired and Dave Wannstedt came. Wanny, on the advice of Jimmy Johnson, ask for complete control of the player personnel decisions. McCaskey granted the request.

That was the beginning of the end for me and the Bears. Yeah, I watched a lot of games and still had passion. Hell, I even started a "group" to Get Rid Of Wannstedt. But, the years of losing with no light at the end of the tunnel finally took its toll. Then, with the Cubs making their Wild Card run in 1998, their close call in 2001 and their long playoff run in 2003, my focus returned to my first love of baseball.

I don't watch the Bears much anymore. Maybe I will one day, but not right now. I've gotten to the age and stage in my life where the block of time from 12 to 3 for 16 fall Sundays is occupied with rugrats. That's a good thing, be sure. But I might not be so passive about the Bears had Wanny not killed off my interest.

I once wrote, years ago, that Wanny would be well suited to be a college coach. Rumors are that he may go to Pitt. I wish him well and success. But this man killed off my passion for a sports team in a way I never thought possible. I hope Dolphin fans don't suffer the same fate as me.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

The Fans Speak

For Dolan Succubus:

Eliza Dushku

Elisha Cuthbert

Fantasy Coolness

The NFL got a few billion bux locked away today with extensions of its TV contracts. DirecTV keeps its portion, keeping out a potential rival bid from Comcast. As part of the deal, DirecTV will create a "Red Zone" channel. This will switch viewers from game to game when a team is inside an opponent's 20-yard line.

Real time fantasy football watching is here!

Not So Fast

ESPN.com has an article that Sammy Sosa will most likely not be traded.

Their rational? Adam Katz says so. And how does he know? "If there were anything going, they'd have to contact me, and no one has."

All this means is that nothing is current. This is posturing on Sosa's part. This is trying to re-open a bridge that Sosa TNT'd into the ravine with his comments last week.

I dunno if he's going or not. But I do know this article is meaningless.

Yes or No?

"(Yasir Arafat) is dead," said one Palestinian source. But a spokesman for French medical services insisted Arafat was still alive, saying: "Mr. Arafat is not dead."

Paging Generalissimo Francisco Franco....

Looks Like a Done Deal

No one is talking, but everyone is reporting. That sure seems like code for, "Bob Brenly, Cubs Broadcast Analyst."

This is great news. A guy who not only is a "tell it like it is" broadcaster, but who has a history here. And even better, he won't shy away from criticizing the team when it needs to be criticized as he will have the clout behind him to back up his comments. If Barry Rozner is right, Brenly will be making right about 7 figures per year for four years. Think about this: At the end of the 2005 season, the Cubs will owe Dusty Baker $4 million over the remainder of his contract. The Cubs will owe Brenly $3 million.

Brenly could be the Cubs' manager come 2006 or 2007. This will be delicious to watch. And Bob will be a pleasure to listen to.

Oh, and make sure you read the last line of the article. What do we know about the Cubs and leaks in the paper?

No cocker spaniel jokes, please.

Monday, November 08, 2004


Does anyone know what happened to Will Carroll? Privacy? Bullying? This is Dan Brownesqe in its crypticness, I tell ya.


Sammy Sosa rummors are rampant with the MLB GM meetings starting today. The latest one has Sosa being traded to the Dodgers for Shaun Green. While I'd love to see this deal as Green is younger, is a free agent after this year, could save the Cubs as much as $10 million in Sosa release costs, and that I might get to sit next to Shaun next Yom Kippur, I don't think this one ahs any merrits.

I see no way "Moneyball Jr." Paul DePodesta trades for a guy on a three year downward spiral [HR (49, 40, 35); RC (121, 94, 68); OPS (.993, .911, .849)] like Sosa has been on.

This smells like a trial balloon being floated, nothing more.

The better story to follow will be the Troy Percival / Armando Benitez rumors. Percival seems to be the Cubs' guy because he'll be cheaper. Not the right reason to sign a guy. Also, watch Magglio Ordonez. Where he goes may have some bearing on Carlos Beltran as they both have Scott Boras as their agent.

Meadowlands Dumping

Look! A real football team! That said, does it look to you that Anthony Thomas runs like Steve Austin? The slow mo is there. All that's needed is the "chh-chh-chh-chh-chh" sound of the bionics.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Did I Hear This Right?

So, the GOP gets George Bush re-elected partially on a gay-baiting platform and now all Bush says is that he has a "Man Date."

Talk about flip flopping.

Thou Shalt Read This

As our President Re-Elect seems intent on making this country "Born Again Or Else," Ivy Chat publishes it's Sports Commandments!

1) Thou shalt preserve thy Baseball Opening Day and keep it holy.

2) Thou shalt not covet the wives of Kerry Wood, Roger Clemens, or David Wells. Thou mayest covet the wife of Kris Benson.

3) Thou shalt use dark mustard and onions on thy bratwurst.

4) Thou shalt not wait for autographs when one is above age 8 unless thyself is doingst thus for thy under age child.

5) Thou shalt, when eating at a restaurant with thine wife, take thine seat at thy table soest thy can see the plasma TV over the bar.

6) Thou shalt ridicule male cheerleaders.

7) Thou shalt NEVER use the word “WE” when referring to a professional sports team. Thou mayest use “WE” when referring to teams from schools thine attended, beist they high school or college.

9) Thou shalt understand that Salary Caps are communistic, anti-fan, profit protection programs for owners.

10) Thou shalt not bitch to friends and talk radio if your team squanders a crucial game. Thou shalt not believe in conspiracies and tainted referee's call against onest team.

Bonus Commandment:
Sports bigamy is against the laws of almighty God. You are allowed to be a fan of one team per sport. The number of the team in which you may root is one. No more. No less.

The Forgotten

Over at the Sloth's site a few days ago, we were playing, "Name the 30+ Year Old Hottie." How could we forget Monica Bellucci?

Yeah, the Matrix sequels sucked. But Persephone's dress was X-O-Lent.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Too Young to be Moral

From the Chicago Tribune:

A 16-year-old Palestinian laden with explosives blew himself up Monday in a crowded outdoor market in Tel Aviv, killing three Israelis, wounding 32 and scattering body parts and blood-spattered vegetables on the ground. The bomber's mother said the militants who dispatched him were "immoral."
"It's immoral to send someone so young," said Samir Abdullah, 45, Alfar's mother. "They should have sent an adult who understands the meaning of his deeds."

So it's not that her son committing suicide to kill Jews was wrong. It's not that someone committing suicide to kill Jews was wrong. It's just that young people shouldn't commit suicide to kill Jews.

And these people are ready for their own state?

President Bush needs to stop talking about Palestinian Statehood until they deserve it. No other president did before him.

Over and Out

John Kerry did the right thing and conceded a little while ago. Good. Now, should I be happy that this goofball isn't going to be president or be sad that my family pays $1,000 per year in interest because the current president can't say "no" to more government spending?

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Weapons of Mass Seduction

From Comedy Central:

It's common knowledge that the voting line during a Presidential election is a great place to meet potential dates. Maximize your chances of taking home the cute Democrat or Republican of your choice with these candidate-inspired pick-up lines!


"This is John Kerry, and I'm reporting for booty."
"I have a Plan for getting into your pants."
"I can do amazing things with a ketchup bottle, baby. "
"I'm looking for a way to steal your purple heart."
"That's a nice shirt. Can I tax you out of it?"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because under my health care plan, 75% of your hospital costs come directly from a special account set up in accordance with...."
"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Also, I really need your vote. Seriously, I'm down like six points there."
"How do you like your eggs cooked? Because I want to know what to have the maid make you for breakfast."
"Baby, the only thing swift about me was the boat!"


"I may not have found those weapons of mass destruction, but I know where everything else is. If you get my drift."
"Bush is my name and women's private areas are my game."
"Apparently, I own a timber company. Want some wood?"
"Did your daddy work for Halliburton? Because someone stole the stars from the skies, overcharged the goverment for them, and put them in your eyes."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. That way I'd never forget how to spell DUI."
"Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my megalomaniacal dreams of world domination all night."
"Presidents do it for four years in a row."
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me that I started a war for nothing?"
"Was your daddy a Supreme Court justice? Because you've illegitimately stolen my heart."

Sloth Style Voting

Free DVD's from a well-known Jewish porn star can be had if you are in Manhattan tonight and can prove you voted.

Take the Pledge

I take this pledge (from the Buzzmachine):

After the election results are in, I promise to:
- Support the President, even if I didn't vote for him.
- Criticize the President, even if I did vote for him.
- Uphold standards of civilized discourse in blogs and in media while pushing both to be better.
- Unite as a nation, putting country over party, even as we work together to make America better.

And, if you are Single

Go here to get some action. There's a "meet up" (or is it a "hook up"?) not far from Wrigley tonight. Hell, if the politicians are gonna screw us, you might as well get your 4 minutes of satisfaction somewhere with someone.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Endoresment II

This voter will be casting a ballot tomorrow for a Presidential candidate, a Senate candidate and a House of Representatives candidate. All but the house candidates are for members of the non-incumbent party. While I can’t think of a reason to defend votes for Barack Obama over Alan Keyes, and for Mark Kirk over Ihaveno Ideawhom, I do have reasons to vote for John Kerry.

They are not the reasons you’d think.

If you are one of those Bush supporters that thinks George Bush is a messenger from God. That he can do no wrong. That John Kerry didn’t deserve his medals and won’t defend this country. If you are one of those, stop reading now. If you are a Kerry supporter who thinks that the 2000 election was stolen. That there was no reason to invade Iraq. That there should be a draft to make “the rich kids” fight. Stop reading now.

However, if you have concerns about fiscal sanity. About competence in fighting a war. About playing with the constitution for political reasons. And about executives taking responsibility, I’m going to try to appeal to logic.

“Saddam Hussein is a threat to our nation. September the 11th changed the strategic thinking, at least, as far as I was concerned, for how to protect our country. My job is to protect the American people. It used to be that we could think that you could contain a person like Saddam Hussein, that oceans would protect us from his type of terror. September the 11th should say to the American people that we're now a battlefield, that weapons of mass destruction in the hands of a terrorist organization could be deployed here at home.

So, therefore, I think the threat is real. And so do a lot of other people in my government. And since I believe the threat is real, and since my most important job is to protect the security of the American people, that's precisely what we'll do.

Our demands are that Saddam Hussein disarm. We hope he does. We have worked with the international community to convince him to disarm. If he doesn't disarm, we'll disarm him.”

- George Bush, March 6, 2003

I believed in the War on Iraq. I also believed that Saddam was supporting terrorists by shipping oil illegally through Syria (source: Wall Street Journal – “Iraq Shipping Large Crude Cargoes, Violating U.N. Rules”, Feb 21. 2003). Syria then sold the oil and financed terrorists operating in Israel that killed Israeli and US citizens. I believed that either of these were reason enough for the war.

The first case panned out not to be true. The second case was never made by the administration. Still, that’s not reason enough to change course. Right?

But then we see that there aren’t enough troops committed. This is not a new criticism. I had the opportunity to eat lunch with Rep. Rahm Emanuel back in March, 2003, right after the war started. He sat next to me and told me that there weren’t enough troops deployed then. The war plan from this administration was flawed from day 1. That’s reason enough to change course.

Now, I have a degree in economics. I believe that active fiscal policy is slightly less effective at managing an economy than Dusty Baker is at controlling team outbursts. I believe in free tade and a balanced budget. This administration has given away the farm to the farmers. Given drugs to seniors in a program they don’t like and that is too expensive. Given protectionist tariffs to the steel industry that cost more jobs than it saved. And run up a deficit that will cost us all somewhere between $30 billion and $65 billion in additional taxes, just in interest costs, every year. That’s plenty of reason to change course, especially with the rest of the reasons.

So why John Kerry? Is he any better?

I have no idea.

What I do know is that this country works best when the government does nothing and business does its business. In 1998, the economy rolled when Congress investigated Monicagate and did little else.

Not a coincidence in my book.

John Kerry represents divided government. That’s a plus. I urge you to vote for gridlock. For divided government. If you can’t vote for Kerry, then vote for a democrat for congress and senate where you live.

But most of all, vote. No more Floridas.


Let me be the first to publicly endorse the hiring of Bob Brenly as a replacement color announcer for the Cubs broadcast booth. This is a man who, like Steve Stone, tell it like it is. And is not afraid to bash stupidity on the field.

Bob was with the Cubs' on WGN radio team back in the "three man booth" days in the early 90's. On the occasion of the Cubs' last game before the All-Star Break in 1990, Les Lancaster had a nice start going against the Cardinals. In the seventh, Les was starting to tire. It was obvious to everyone. Essian refused to quickly use his bullpen. Four runs scored and the Cubs eventually lost the game.

Brenly lambasted Essian. It was the last game before the break. Go ahead and use the pen early as everyone was going to be getting three days off.

Hire this guy. If anyone thinks that Stone went tough on Baker, they haven't seen anything like what Brenly will do. Hell. Brenly might even have designs on Baker's job.

Sosagate, Stonegate, Chipgate....

So many articles in the news about all this breuhaha surrounding the team. Go ahead and read the articles and the punditry to get a flavor of what's surrounding our favorite team. And then remember this:

None of this has anything to do with what we want to see, which is winning baseball.

The entire focus of this team has been lost. Jim Hendry needs to get the focus, both internal and external, back on the field. How he does that is anyone's guess. I'll guess that it's done with some big free agent signings. Nomar Garciaparra is up first. He has exclusive negotiating with the Cubs until November 12th. If the Cubs sign him, it will be a 1 year deal and be done in the next 11 days.

After that, all eyes on Carlos Beltran.

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